It's been a while since I've written a
blog post. I've had a rough past few weeks. There's no one particular
reason why I've been having a rough time of it, but I really haven't
been emotionally stable enough to be writing. But now I'm back,
hopefully a little more steady on my feet.
Earlier this week, a close friend of
mine came to town. She moved to another state a few months ago, so it
was good to see her, if only for a handful of hours. We got to
talking, and for whatever reason I remembered a conversation we'd had
at the end of the summer, in which (among other things) she had told
me that courage was doing hard things. I brought up that conversation
and told her that I had realized that moving was probably one of the
most courageous things she'd ever done. She said, “Sometimes it
doesn't feel very courageous. But it's not always about feelings, is
it?”
I wonder how often we get discouraged
by what we feel and how often the Enemy sneaks in to twist our
emotions into fear – especially when God is taking us back to
places that we might not want to go, or through passages that are
dark and scary. How ironic is it that when I was in high school, I
always thought of myself of being afraid of nothing, yet almost all
of my actions were dominated by fear. I had failed to recognize that
sometimes the most terrifying things are not spiders or bats or
things we can measure, but things that are more immeasurable and hard
to define.
Anyway, I was recently reminded of a
passage in 1 Peter, and I opened up to that book in my Bible to see
that I had written “It's worth it” in large print underlined in
the top margin. The following passage (which I had recalled) was
underlined and starred: “Though you have not seen him, you love
him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and
are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are
receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1
Peter 1:8-9).
It's interesting to note that Peter was
writing to a persecuted church about joy – James also says to
“consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance”
(James 1:2-3). The Gospel (and God Himself) is constant and
never-changing – and it brings joy. Joy, not happiness – because
happiness is an emotion that fades. When we push forward, however
weak, however faint (whether we feel courageous or not – or perhaps
in spite of the lack of it), the Gospel remains true, and Jesus is
pushing us forward to become more like Him through sacrifice and
pain.
I'll leave with a song by Switchfoot
that came on today while I was doing homework. The last few lyrics
really caught my attention:
“If it doesn't break your heart
It isn't love
If it doesn't break your heart
It's not enough
It's when you're breaking down
With your insides coming out
That's when you find out what your heart is made of.”
If it doesn't break your heart
It's not enough
It's when you're breaking down
With your insides coming out
That's when you find out what your heart is made of.”
Until next time!
